I think it's going to work out. I'm getting to grips with the charity's fiendishly complex database. Remembering names and telephone extensions. The people seem nice and the short working week is good.
Part of the job is to upload information onto the computer system and it's impossible not to be aware of the human beings behind the statistics. Elderly men and women in nursing homes, in most cases suffering from dementia, who can no longer care for themselves and whose families can no longer care for them. As I work I wonder about their lives, the contrast between then and now, whether they are aware of what has happened to them.
And what about the families who are forced to take decisions for which they cannot know the outcome, to choose between painful, often less-than-perfect options? Unlike a few of my friends I've never had to face this situation. Both my mother and grandmother were as sharp as tacks when they died in their eighties; my father was confused but not to the extent that he couldn't function.
So. I've started a routine of wishing each person peace as I load the details of their lives onto the database. It's the one thing that I can do.
****
Today has been a peaceful and ordered one, productive without being manic, social but with quiet times. Most of the items on the list I drew up this morning have been ticked off. Feelings come and go. It's OK.
Photograph: Eastgate Clock, Chester.
9 comments:
What a beautiful practice, wishing them peace.
I entered a small tribute gift at the library foundation I work for, once. In shaky elderly handwriting. The note said it was in memory of her husband.
"He liked to read," was all it said. It brought tears to my eyes.
Here's the echo to dale's comment "What a beautiful practice, wishing them peace." Something we all need
I always get a deep sense of peace when I read your posts...its a gift you have. It makes reading your blog such a nice experience.
Yes..I too feel for those who no one to care for them.
last year I gave up my life for an undisclosed amount of time to go to the UK to care for my parents. They both died knowing that they had been cared for in their own home . I felt good about that, so my heart goes out to those who have no one to care for them.
It's good to know you are sending peace to those who may need it.
Peace to you too :)
It can be near impossible for some people with dementia to be cared for at home, for many reasons... whether people are unable to give up chunks of their lives (it can take 10 years, and people go bankrupt), or the person with dementia may be unmanageable or combative, and/or the caretaker is physically or emotionally incapable of the enormous effort for the "36-hour day," as they call it.
Anyway, it's good of you to send your peace to them all. They need it.
your loving heart creates peace. such a touching gift you give. hugs.
Thanks everyone. I appreciate these comments. The new work has brought home to me the fact that mental deterioration in old age is something that so many have to face - either themselves or via a family member. No easy answers. None..
My job involves wordprocessing/database work about families in crisis and I too send them light to help them. I am thrilled to read you are doing the same sort of thing.
Starnitesky: ;-)
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